Self-love is not selfishness. Where to begin?

When I talk about self-love, I often hear: “But I don’t want to be selfish.” Many of us learned that taking care of ourselves is something we have to earn, and only once everyone else has been looked after.

What self-love is not

Self-love does not mean putting yourself above others or lacking empathy. Nor is it about constantly lifting your mood or pretending everything is fine. It is not another project to complete.

What it really is

It is the way you treat yourself every day: how you speak to yourself when you make a mistake, whether you listen to your body’s signals, whether you let yourself rest without guilt. Self-love is a relationship, and every relationship is built from small, repeated gestures.

I guide women towards self-love because I see that it changes everything else: relationships, decisions, the sense of safety.

Where to begin?

• Notice your inner voice. For one day, pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Would you speak like that to a close friend?
• Ask yourself “what do I need right now?”. A few times a day, especially when you feel tension.
• Keep one promise you made to yourself. A small one: a walk, an earlier night, five minutes of silence. Self-trust grows from promises kept.
• Allow yourself to receive. A compliment, help, rest. Without explaining yourself and without “paying it back”.

Where working with the subconscious helps

Sometimes we understand all of this, and yet something inside says: “you don’t deserve it”. Such beliefs usually have a long history and sit deeper than our logic. Working with hypnosis and neurohacking, we reach their source so that self-love stops being just an idea and becomes your natural way of being.

Start with one small step today. That is enough to get going.